Perfectly Imperfect
by sighclone
Summary: Simon has made a mistake. He's been too trusting. Too naive. Isabelle has been searching for perfection. When it isn't found, it crushes her. It's easy for these two to live in the moment, but it's harder to delve into the past.
1. Prologue Part I

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. Storyline is mine.**

"Why in the world did you think this was a good idea?"

I hear her words, I really do. But at this point I can't really care anymore.

The one time I decide to trust someone. Then they take it, rip it up and throw it back in my face.

So I just sit here. Let them take my fate into their hands.

I used to be a "good boy."

The kind that would scold people for even thinking of drinking or using drugs.

The kind that would spend his free time reading or studying.

The kind that respected his parents and cared about what they thought of me.

That was before she happened.

I can't blame her. I was too naive. I was too innocent.

I was too trusting.

I was a game to her. Something that she could play with. Her little experiment with the smart kid.

Caring is impossible around those people.

They smell fresh meat. They can tell when minds are easily manipulated.

I always promised myself I wouldn't.

But I did.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me three times..

Shame on both of us.


	2. Prologue Part II

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. The story line is mine.**

Do you ever get that feeling when you're expecting the worst, but you're just kidding yourself because you think nothing will happen?

The feeling that doesn't help soften the blow?

I stand there anxiously.

I love the feeling, the rush you get after you dance.

It feels phenomenal.

His arm is there, anchoring me. But I can feel his nervousness. He isn't tricking me. His hands are shaking, as much as he tries to hide it.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you for coming. The judges have been hard at work."

The voice booms over the sound system, but it sounds soft. As if I were in a pool, hearing the noises of the outside world.

Then it happens.

My dreams.

My hopes.

My hard work.

It was all for nothing.

He turns away from me, and damn if it doesn't hurt.

We're in this together, through thick and thin.

He pulls his hair, his face turning darker and darker.

Then his gaze lands on me. I flinch away, but I still feel it boring into me.

I run off of the floor, only to be stopped by them.

"Can you do anything right?"

Now it's worse, I see their lips moving, but I don't hear any of it.

I'm not floating in bliss now, I'm drowning. Someone is pulling me down. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm pulling myself down deeper.

I'm not good enough.

The fact that I thought I was is pathetic.

I will never be good enough.

Not for him.

Not for them.

Certainly not for me.


	3. Chapter 1 - Consequences

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. Storyline is mine.**

Chapter 1 - Consequences

This sucks. It really does. There is not one thing that could diminish the suck of this situation. It's cold and rainy, the beaches here probably suck too. So here I sit, in the Portland airport, waiting for my host family who's names I do not even know. I don't think I even know who or what to look for. My luggage is heavy with months worth of clothing, and I'm tired from lugging it around all day.

"Simon! Over here! Simon!" I hear the yelling and look over to see a man practically falling out of the passenger side of a Jetta. My eyes widen as I take in the dark, messy hair, smiling face and bright blue t-shirt.

I slowly stand up, cautiously making my way to the car, unsure this is my actual host. He jumps out of the car and takes one of my bags, yelling at the driver to pop the trunk before going to the back of the car and packing it in there. I take my giant-ass suitcase and shove it into the fun sized trunk and close it carefully. And this guy is wearing sparkly pants.

The man pats me on the back and motions for me to open one of the back doors and get in. I slide into the leather interior and awkwardly buckle in. Sparkly Pants Guy turns in his passenger seat and offers me a hand.

"I'm Magnus, your sister contacted me about hosting you this year. This is Alec, my partner. I know this must be kind of weird since I don't know you at all, but I just want you to be as comfortable as you can be. Your sister filled me in on a couple of things and-"

I cut him off with an "Okay," and turn to look out the window. He has a partner. It would have helped if my sister would have told me a little more about him so I wouldn't look clueless. Not that it's an issue or anything, it just caught me off guard.

His smile diminishes a little as he turns to the front again. I don't want to relive those things right now. The wounds are a little bit too fresh for my taste.

The ride is quiet except for the murmurings of Magnus and Alec that I can hardly hear over the music playing from the speakers.

We pull onto a street and park in a small driveway in what seems to be like the back side of a building. A staircase leads up about three stories to a patio that has a sliding glass door. I unbuckle and get out of the car, the cold air making me wish I would have worn a sweater.

Magnus goes up the stairs and slides the door open, leaving it for us to get our bags through. Alec helps me with my bags, but I end up lugging my suitcase up the three flights of stairs. This already sucks so bad.

When I finally get into the house and close the door behind me, I'm surprised to see a modern kitchen with stainless steel appliances and a granite island.

"Ok, so this is the kitchen, the living room is over there," Magnus points to a hallway leading away from the kitchen. "The bathroom is to the right of the living room," another hallway branches off from the arched entrance to the living room. "And if you continue, you get to the stairs to the upstairs where all of the bedrooms are."

I follow him and peek into the different rooms before pulling my suitcase up the curved stairs to a wide landing with four different doors. Alec opens the one closest to the stairs on the right side and holds the door open as I go through.

The room is nice. Dark grey with hunter green accents cover the three walls and the wall farthest from me is made of glass, showing a nice view of the city. Black carpet covers the floor. The dresser, bed frame, desk, closet door, and TV stand are all black wood. A chair is pushed into the desk. A moderate sized TV sits perched on the stand but other than a lamp, there aren't any other adornments. The bed has a couple throw pillows and a matching green bed spread. I drop my bags in a corner and take it all in. A door leads into a bathroom, but another matching door opposite of it leads into what I guess is another bedroom. It's a big bathroom, just enough for two people, but I get it to myself. A little less sucky if I do say so myself.

"We'll let you get settled in," says Alec from the doorway. Magnus lingers for a moment before saying, "Simon, I'm glad you're here, no matter the circumstances." I nod, the words more comforting than I would like to admit. "Thank you," I reply, turning to unpack my things.

When the door closes behind me I sit on the edge of the bed, and put my face in my hands. So many things have happened. I regret so much, but it doesn't help me when I ponder too much. It just makes my stomach feel like it's full of stones. How did I end up here?

.::.

When I pack everything and store my luggage away in the corner of the walk in closet, I go downstairs, feeling kind of bad about how I acted before. If I'm going to change, this is a good start, I am way too prideful. I look into the living room before walking into the kitchen, finding no one. I go back down the hallway, and opposite of the bathroom is another door I assumed was just a closet when I got here.

I open it to find a black, metal spiral staircase leading down to what I'm guessing is the first two stories of the building. I step into an open space with wood floors, Mirrors cover two walls and a glass divider leads into what I think is another room similar to this one. The ceilings are high, but the mirrors are only about 10 feet, like the dividing glass. I walk through the giant space into an open archway in the glass.

I see Magnus and start going towards him. "Magnus I'm-" I start to say before he holds a finger up, looking towards the center at something. I stop in my tracks and look over to see a couple dancing.

That explains it. This is a dance studio.

The guy is tall, but still a little shorter than I am, but not as tall as his company. The height difference between them is noticeable, but not too bad. His hair is a dirty blonde and his partner is a girl with dark, black hair. It's so long it reaches down to her waist, I feel a pang go through me suddenly, but I don't know where it came from. The music I failed to notice until now is blasting through the speakers. They dance very quickly, and I stand there a little starstruck for a moment before slowly walking to where Magnus and Alec are. We stand as the dancers whip around each other until the music ends and they stop, their breaths shallow.

"Good job guys! You are in great shape for the showcase this weekend, so don't sweat it," says Magnus.

They come over and both look at me, a little curious. I notice the girl's eyes immediately. A dark brown, but warm. She regards me cautiously.

"Oh! This is Simon. He will be living with us for a while," he adds in.

At this, the girls head whips to him and she gapes. "What?"

"Told you. We should have warned her," says Alec.


	4. Chapter 2 - Surprises

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. Story line is created by me.**

Chapter 2 - Surprises

"What do you mean he's staying with us?" I splutter, not quite believing that this guy is staying with us.

"Told you. We should have warned her," says Alec. Well, no shit big brother. It would have been nice to know that I'm going to be sharing a living space with this guy. He could be a total psycho.

The guy stands there wide-eyed as I look from him to Alec, to Magnus. I'm willing to bet my brother's boyfriend is behind all of this.

He clears his throat and offers me a hand. I shake it, watching him with unmasked fury. "I'm Simon." Thanks for clarifying.

Perfect name for him. He looks kind of nerdy in a rugged way, with curly brown hair and matching brown eyes.

"Forgive her manners, this is Isabelle," adds Magnus, glaring at me.

I glare back, angry that suddenly our group of three is now a group of four. Wait. What if we have to share a bathroom. Oh hell no. That bathroom is my pride and joy and there is no way I am sharing it.

"Well, I'm going to, uh, go now. Bye Isabelle," says Matt, kissing me on the cheek and backing away into the lobby.

I don't reply, too angry for words.

I bend down to take my soft-soled heels off, and turn, running through the studio and up the stairs, slamming the door behind me. I stomp up the second set of stairs and into my bedroom, locking the door behind me. It's not even the fact that he's staying here. It's the fact that they neglected to tell or warn me about it. When I finally feel like I'm finding my place and picking myself back up, they throw this on me.

The black walls in my room bring the beautiful Portland skyline out. I flop on my bed, groaning into the plush bedspread. Now I'm regretting that. It's like when you say something so bad to another person, you immediately feel bad for saying it, but your pride stops you. Right now my pride and the fear of looking stupid are stopping me from going out to apologize to Simon. It's not his fault, and now he probably thinks I'm a raging bitch. Not that it isn't true sometimes, but I'm normally not one.

The soft, timid knock comes to my door sooner than I expected. I groan and stand once again, opening it a sliver to see my brother's bright blue eyes. I scowl at him involuntarily and open the door, then turn and lay out on my bed face down like I was before.

I feel the bed bend down with the weight of Alec, who rubs my back comfortingly. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. It's just we both know you have so much going on, and we didn't want to mess up your routine. You're picking yourself back up."

I turn my head to the side where he is, and looking up into his pleading eyes. "And you thought that springing this surprise on me would be better? What were you thinking Alec!" I exclaim.

He cringes for a second, but answers me in the only way he does, in an honest way. "I don't know Izzy. I don't know what to tell you. Please forgive us, we didn't do it to be malicious, we just weren't in the right mindset."

I hear Magnus come in the door, closing it quietly. He sits beside Alec, brushing a strand of hair out of my red face. "Please just forgive and forget. Simon hasn't had the easiest time and I want you guys to get along. I think you'll be good for him."

"What's wrong with him?" I ask, feeling bad once again for lashing out at him.

"I can't tell you that. He has to. It's his secrets and it wouldn't be fair to give them out."

I nod, understanding why he can't tell me, but I'm suddenly very curious. "So are we good?" asks Alec.

I sit up, facing them. "Yeah, I guess. I'll play nice for this Simon character."

"Good. Dinner in an hour," announces Magnus, hugging me before rushing out the door. Alec follows after, kissing my forehead.

I sigh once the door closes behind them, putting my hands on my face and pushing the stray hairs out of the way. Deciding a shower will calm me down, I get my towel off of the hook on the door, swinging the door open.

"Hooooly Shit," I immediately slam the door shut behind me, my worst nightmare coming true. I lean back on it, trying my hardest not to think of a nearly naked Simon on the other side of the door. Who knew he had abs? He doesn't look like he should.

I knock cautiously and open the door, covering my eyes with one hand. "Are you decent?"

"Uh, yeah," I hear him mutter. When I uncover my eyes, his face is a bright red, and jeans back on his legs, the top button popped open.

"I am so sorry about that. Alec and Magnus neglected to tell me we're neighbors now," I say, trying to look anywhere but at Simon's stomach.

"Yeah, me too." He scratches the back of his head, looking insanely embarrassed. " I guess since it's technically your bathroom you have shower rights."

I shake my head gesturing towards the glass walls of my beautiful shower, already feeling the loss of bathroom freedom. My heart breaks at the thought of another person using it. "No, you've had a long day, go ahead." Backing into my room I almost shut the door before remembering something and sticking my head back in.

"I'm sorry by the way. You were just kind of a surprise." I feel my cheeks flare at my apology.

He chuckles and waves it away. "It's not the first time I've heard that. It's ok. Don't sweat it."

I smile and close the door. That wasn't so bad, was it Isabelle?

**A/N: Hey guys! Please review! I'll try to update as soon as I can.**


	5. Chapter 3 - Tricks

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. Storyline is mine**

Chapter 3 - Tricks

After I shower, I go back into my room and get dressed again. As I plop down on my bed, a cautious knock sounds on my door.

It cracks open and she sneaks her head in.

"Hi," she says quietly.

Things like that separate her from Maia. She's cautious. But I need to keep my vision forward, no matter how beautiful a girl is.

But I'm not the kind of guy that gets a girl like her. It may happen once, but it won't happen twice.

She steps in, but stays at the door. Her tight shirt hides nothing and the shorts she wears only cover a small portion of her long legs. I sit up and smile at her. She comes forward a bit more and clasps her hands together.

"Dinner is ready. Alec said if you want to eat up here, you can."

I pop my lips and push off of the bed. "No, of course not, lead the way."

She turns and my eyes immediately go somewhere not so safe.

It's not my fault she has a nice ass.

She makes her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, sitting at the small table for four.

"Glad you decided to join us, Simon!" exclaims Magnus.

I smile and look down at Isabelle, who smirks back.

Alec hands Isabelle the plates and she spreads them around the table and Magnus puts a pizza in the middle of the table.

"Sorry, I was going to make something nicer, but Alec couldn't quite get what we needed to put it together, so this is it. Dig in."

Alec shrugs the passive aggressive comment off and sits next to Isabelle, grabbing her hand. When I see them next to each other, it finally makes sense. They're siblings. Their cheekbones, the way their eyes are shaped. When she looks up to see me staring, I instinctively wink and she bites her lip, looking down again.

She's seen me partially naked. What can I do?

It's a bad thought but I'm glad she did, and as much as I want to be angsty about this whole thing, I'm still too numb from everything to care. If I wanted to hook up with her, I could, but how awkward would it be after? I'm at the point that I want instant comfort.

I can already see her melting into my hand.

When the silent dinner is over, she stand up and kisses them both on the cheek saying, "I'm off."

I look up and before I can stop myself, I ask, "Where to?"

"On a run," she answers hesitantly.

"Do you mind if I join?" I ask.

She looks at Magnus and he shrugs.

"Great. Let me go get changed."

.::.

Ten minutes later, we're engaged in a running contest. She looks at me with a tired smirk, the kind that says, 'I may be tired, but not tired enough to give up the chance to kick your ass.'

I grin back and take off, but as we round the corner, she gets ahead of me. I might just stay back here for the view.

When she stops, I notice we're in the front of a building, and when I look in the windows I realize this is the front of the building. Astaire dance.

She laughs at me, and the sweat coating her skin is nothing more than a turn on in this moment. It reminds me of other activities we could be partaking in that would make her sweat like that.

Such as... Tennis. Basketball. Soccer. Ahem.

I shake my head of the thoughts.

"Tougher than you thought?" she asks

"I was taking it easy. You're on next time."

"Who said I was letting your run with me again?"

I step closer, invading her personal space. Her eyes widen, as if she wasn't expecting it.

"I just know, Love."

She looks anywhere but me and she starts to turn until I catch her waist.

She faces me again and our faces are so close and I really want to kiss her, but not until she wants to.

She answers my thoughts, taking my lips with hers. They're soft, nimble.

I pull her flush against me and I feel her nails dig into my arms.

I groan and she pulls back looking at my eyes. Not really what I want. I want faceless relief.

She turns towards the door and I grab her hips, letting her pulling me along. By the time we have gone past the studio and up the stairs to the apartment, our sweat has turned cold, almost clammy.

When we reach my room I open the door and pull her in with me. My shirt comes off, along with my shoes.

She pushes me on the bed and straddles me immediately. I kiss her neck, her collar bone, under her ear until I have her panting and I roll us over. Her legs remain on the sides of my hips, pushing in with an unbearable pressure.

She starts to push my shorts off and I'm left in just boxers, and I don't connect that she is still fully dressed until it's too late. She flips us over again, quite forcibly and starts kissing down my chest until she's at the waistband of my boxers. Her fingers press into my hips and she looks up at me with a smirk as they move up and down my chest, her nails teasing me in the most painful way.

Then she's gone.

"Wow, I knew you were a jackass, but were you seriously going to just let me do that?"

I sit up, more confused than ever as she stands there with her hands on her hips.

She lets out a disgusted noise before heading for the bathroom door. "You're disgusting. I would never hook up with you like that. I don't even know you."

The door slams and I hear the lock click into place.

I run my hands down my face and fall back onto the bed.

What. The. Hell.


	6. Chapter 4 - Apologies

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. Story line is mine.**

Chapter 4 - Apologies

After taking a shower and brushing out my hair, I braid it tightly and change into my sleep shirt. I sleep well, burned out from my run. And maybe from a cruel teasing of my new roommate. His face made the whole thing worth it, and maybe it's better that he knows exactly the kind of person I am.

He might be okay with a random girl giving him instant gratification, but he needs to know I will never be that girl.

When the sun filters through my wall of windows, I wake and blink, trying to clear the light out of my vision. I flop the comforter away from my body and take a deep breath. Sweat covers my skin and when I stand, the cool air greets me. I stretch my arms above my head and look out at my neighborhood. People are jogging, kids are playing despite the darkening sky. One thing about Portland is that it's always raining here. But I don't think I'd have it any other way.

I put my pink slippers on and open the door into the landing. I hear sizzling and soft voices from downstairs. Once I'm in the hallway leading to the kitchen, I recognize the voices of Magnus and another newer one. Simon.

"Speak of the devil," teases Magnus.

I smile bitterly and blow him a kiss. "I know you love talking shit. Where's Alec?"

"Playing the part of sleeping beauty."

"Can you go wake him up? He's supposed to help me go over competition dresses and we have an appointment in.." I check the clock. 11:30. "An hour. You know how long it take to get there."

Magnus rubs his hands on his 'kiss the cook' apron and kisses me on the cheek as he walks by. I kiss his cheek back and smile, watching his retreating figure.

"Good morning."

I turn to face Simon and shoot him a glare. He sighs and says, "Look, I'm sorry about last night. Message received. I'm so so sorry that I did that to you and I honestly hope that we can get along."

I narrow my eyes and cross my arms in front of my chest. "I don't believe you. That kind of behavior isn't given up so easily."

He flips the pancakes that Magnus left on the griddle. "I wasn't always like this. Being around a girl made me nervous. But I just want you to know that I will try to be that person. I truly am so sorry that I acted that way."

I mess with the hem on my shirt and look up, seeing his dark eyes fixed on mine. "I accept your apology. I hope someday I'll get to know that guy."

He nods and gives me a sad smile. "Yeah, me too."

He looks down at the pancakes as if the answer to all of his questions are in the batter. I set all of the dishes out and sort the silverware.

I hear a loud yawn and when Alec walks into the kitchen, I almost burst out laughing. His hair is sticking up all over the place and his sleep pants with skulls and crossbones and the matching button up shirt are wrinkled.

"I knew you were the hot sibling," I say.

He glares and Magnus hugs him from behind. "He is the hot sibling, Iz. Hate to break it to you."

I laugh and sit down in the cold chair. "You ready for our appointment? I have an idea about what I want for latin, but I don't even know where to start in smooth."

Alec rubs his eyes and plops down in the chair across from me. "I can't do it on my own. Can you come Magnus? You know more about it than I do."

Magnus sits next to him and Chairman Meow immediately takes his seat on his lap. "I was going to take Simon to get some stuff he needs."

I pout and clasp my hands together. "Please? I need your opinion. Alec won't have an opinion. I need to know if there are too many feathers or not enough sequins. I need to know if I look like a cow and Alec doesn't have the heart to tell me the truth."

Magnus flashes me a sympathetic smile. "I agree. But Alec has to be there for final opinion. I won't go without him."

"Do you mind coming along Simon?"

He looks up from scooping the bacon off of the pan and freezes. "Um. Sure."

I smile and cock my head. "Thank you!"

He just nods and sets the bacon on the table. I grab a strip and try it. My eye roll to the back of my head and I let out a little moan. Simon's eyes widen and he coughs. "That's really good bacon. What's your secret?"

He clears his throat again. "Um I don't know. I bake it instead cooking it."

I nod and eat another, smiling. Magnus give me suspicious look. I shrug and take a pancake.


End file.
